You will have one and eventually become one…words from my mama.
I thought it was funny until it happened to me…
Yes, when I was young and a little stupid…we are at some point. I would giggle or somewhat laugh at mother-in-law’s jokes. But something kept nagging at me. I would always remember…saying this to future me: “Stop it, Martha, you will become one soon enough. Or you will have one once you’re married.”
Ugly mother-in-law jokes are all over the internet…It’s great material for comedians too. We get the ugliest bad wrap (yes I am a mother-in-law). Do you remember the old Pledge commercial? It shows a young bride cleaning up her living room because her mother-in-law was stopping by. And she shows up with a pair of white gloves to inspect how clean the furniture is…why did they do that? I can still recall that. Why did they make us (us moms-in-law) be the bad guy…I never forgot that tv commercial. Fire that madman. Man’s world.
It’s hard to find ugly father-in-law jokes. Mmm makes me wonder why we are so cruel to the person who took care of our significant others?
Jokes like: How many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage? One, just mine! Ouch that hurts!
Or like: I really do have a soft spot for my mother-in-law, it’s been freshly dug in the garden behind the garage.
And so many many more ugly ones…FYI I don’t think they are funny at all. Do you not agree?
I got married and poof…I had one now!
How was I to behave with her? My wise mother’s voice kept talking to me saying: Treat her good…cultivate a good relationship with her. Don’t make your husband feel uncomfortable between you both. After all, she is trying to let go and be a better mother-in-law or a plain better woman like the rest of us gals.
I tried my best and still do. I pamper her when she visits me and try to have deep conversations with her. Geez I talk to her more than what my husband does. I have learned a lot from her and all she has gone through. I let her know that I appreciate her, especially for raising the man of my life. Thank you Suegra (Spanish for mother-in-law)
Fast-forward 20 years later I became one!!!
I still hear the jokes…they kinda poke me…hurt a little. I don’t laugh at them at all…and sometimes I make people feel weird because I make it known that I do not appreciate them. There in your face. Nah…I do it discreetly. No fighting words here.
I have to be honest my daughter-in-law came first and she is such a doll. Noble and kind to me…so she has made it so easy for me. Her name is Rebecca, beautiful, bright, & such a kind girl.
I didn’t want to be the know it all mother-in-law. So sometimes when she would ask me something I would act like I didn’t know, even though I did know. Was I being dishonest? I don’t think so…because she asked me quite a few other things, like my son’s favorite foods. She was so humble to let me show her some of the recipes.
I didn’t want to go overboard. I didn’t want to be the one to stop by and say “Now you have to do it this way or that way”. I would think Nah… they will figure it out all on their own and we will all be just fine. The sun will set today and rise tomorrow and everything will be fine, without my input.
To this day after 20 years of being Rebecca’s mother-in-law, we haven’t had any arguments or fighting words. I love my son’s wife…my beautiful daughter-in-law. I like to think that she feels that I treat her like another daughter.
Then came my son-in-law…I thought wow am I going to be able to get along with him? And yes it’s been good too…at least I think it is. I can see how much he cares and loves my daughter and that’s all that matters to me. A win-win for me. I always tell my daughter you got a keeper…treat him well. And btw treat his mama well too, she raised him so so well, and all for you to reap the benefits.
Being a mother-in-law is one of the most challenging roles in life. It’s not always easy to find that perfect balance but it can be done! You have to remember to be patient and understanding. And if you do find that balance it is so so sweet…take my word for it.
So in conclusion. Mama’s voice: Treat your mother-in-law good, she raised and cared for the man in your life. And yes you will have one and eventually become one.
I always remembered that…such wise words. Treat your mother-in-law like eventually, you want to be treated when you are the in-law.
Tell me how’s the relationship between you and your mother-in-law or how’s it going being one?
xo-Martha
